Bipolar disorder and daily life

Bipolar people are not like normals. We are the barometers of society, measuring the health of an organism, we feel all the pressures and disappointment, a bit like whales experiencing booms in the ocean sound spectrum, and strand themselves on beaches. The reason they do that is unclear, but that is my hypotheses that they feel not only the sonic and infrasonic and also ultrasonic waves from electronic equipment, but also the despair of humanity.

I can feel the waves from a passing low pressure system in the distance or the infrasound ripple from a distant heavy duty truck on the highway even though there is no audible sound. I practice.Sunrisehas its own effect, dampening and heightening awareness especially in the pre-dawn when there are no people stirring in the streets. I can feel people whenever I can see them, but I am more aware of people from about forty or fifty feet or more sometimes. They have their own vibrations and I can give out my own when I want to, but generally tend to suppress any ripples- living low.

How does one combat the feelings of depression when you are on a downward flip.? I think it is by being more aware of the sonic vibrations around us and analyzing what they are. Feeling the ripples as they pass and not just ignoring them – pause and think. That is what bipolar is, a sound box, picking up small and large sound waves especially the low frequencies below 20 hertz, for instance. But we tend to focus outwards instead of inwardly, it is what is expected of us, in our jobs or relationships.

Normals act strange when you go into ‘deep mode’, but it is essential to maintaining equilibrium - for bipolars. I sometimes cannot believe that when I am going through some traumatic shift, and my life partner, who shares my life and my bed, is blissfully unaware of the huge pressure building inside. How can someone be so immune to a chest that is about to explode when they are a mere eight inches away? How do normals manage to go through life without feeling the emotions of others? Are they not frustrated by the slowness of life, its ponderous nature,or its pointlessness at times?

It is perhaps why they need a timepiece to keep track of movement through space. I cannot experience time that way. I experience it in larger clumps, like a weather pattern, for instance. When the weather changes then it’s a different time. I find it difficult to observe appointments in time, like say, I have a dental appointment for 1200 hours – there is no ‘event’ around that time that prepares me for that – so I go early just in case, and spend hours tick-tocking. Night and day are different times. Events. Time is money they say - but I think money is money. Time is a river – but I think time is a sphere, a bubble, and we are in it. There is no razor chopping time down to infinitesimal specks - just this hum, this buzz to notify you of life’s mood.

I love taking a walk on the cliffs on a windy day - the edge so close, and the spume on the sea and rocks below, so tantalizingly welcoming. That is life happening right there, that instant, the boom and bust flying all about, that measures you. Can you exist without life and can life exist without you? That is time in a dollop One event .A spoonful of mood. Existence exists.

As a bipolar disorder sufferer the medications you need, are so that you are able to cope with life and people around you. I think you can do without all that, once you realize you are able to feel your way through. Become more aware of the large events, the bow and stern waves of different pressure gradients maybe - but you need to be standing on the red carpet as it is being rolled out. We don’t only have the five senses, but additional ones like direction, balance, motion, a sense of time and occurrence and electroreception. In some individuals the sense of direction is weaker than in others but it does exist and needs to be exercised to reach its full scale. Just as with all the other senses. All the senses need exercise. Electroreception though is the difficult one to engage because we are always being bombarded by other senses. I find the best time to exercise the other senses is at or before dawn while sitting still or going for a walk in the field, woods , park or whatever is close by and free from extraneous noises. Living still.

Try to find your own way in this, without sticking to a regimented plan. After a while you will know as soon as you wake that something is about to happen or not. Usually preparing your mind the night before is significant. Expectancy produces results. Next time there is to be an unusually large coronal mass ejection is a good time to try to enhance your perception of sonic or even subsonic ground walking aura. I notice those times in other people, normals, they are moody, off balance and generally something has happened to disturb their day. Unaware of the magnetic shift of a massive CME, their day is tainted.

So, this is where I sign off.

Peace +